bereaved families

A Loving Good-bye…Choosing a Cemetery

The decisions you are facing are ones which no parent imagined he/she would have to make for his/her child. While these decisions are painful, remember that this can be your way of honoring your baby. This will be one way of giving your baby a loving good-bye.

Making these final decisions about your baby may take some time. Usually there is no rush. If you need more time to think, take the time.

Do what is right for you. Saying good-bye to your baby is a very personal and private thing.

Babylands vs. Adult Sections

Many cemeteries have special sections reserved for babies, called Babylands. In some, these areas are landscaped to make them even more comforting. Usually Babyland plots are significantly less expensive than adult ones. Also, many parents take comfort in burying their child amid other children.

On the other hand, some parents want their child buried beside other family members or will want the child beside them when they eventually die. In either case, the child must be buried in the regular or "adult" section of the cemetery or be moved at a later date. Please note that if you plan on moving your baby at a later date, you must choose a casket with a "vault". Vaults protect caskets from the elements and make it possible to later move them.

Monument Restrictions

It is important when choosing a cemetery to inquire about any monument restrictions they may have. Some cemeteries allow only flat markers because raised monuments impede mowing. Others strive for "garden" atmosphere and allow only flat markers with vases. A few are actually so restrictive as to require that monuments be of a certain type and size and purchased from them.

Sometimes the rules differ between adult and Babyland sections at the same cemetery. Also, some cemeteries require that one purchase two or three adult plots together and that they be completely paid for before any monument may be placed.

Whatever the restrictions may be, it is important to take the time to choose a monument you will be comfortable with.

Costs

In addition to charges for actual plots, cemeteries may also charge fees for opening a grave and for setting monuments. Additional fees may be charged if a tent is used during a graveside service. Sometimes people have donated back to a cemetery their unused plots for use by families in need. Sometimes cemeteries will reduce their prices or waive them altogether.

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