bereaved families

After Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

You Are Not Alone

You are among the mothers, fathers, families and friends of the nearly 3,000 babies who die each year from SIDS. You are not alone in feeling confused and very sad in trying to live without your baby. Difficult days may rule your life for a long time, and many unanswered questions will remain.

• Why did my baby die?
• What did I miss?
• Why do I keep saying "If only I had..." if it is not my fault?
• Why didn't I check my baby one more time during the night?
• Why didn't I take my baby to the doctor for that cold?
• Why did I go back to work so soon?
• If no one can find a reason, isn't it my fault that my baby died?
• I am angry, frightened, and exhausted - am I going crazy?
• There must be something that caused my baby to die. Why can't anyone tell me?

You try to piece together clues, signs, or reasons why a healthy baby died. You talk to other people about your baby and about SIDS. You may find this hard and tiring.

Losing track of time and being unable to perform simple activities are normal after a baby dies. The daily routine changes in a lot of ways. Regular activities such as weekly grocery shopping or visits with friends or family become more difficult.

After a while, you will probably resume some of your usual activities. But you also may decide that some activities are too painful, such as visiting friends with children and seeing them at play. But these choices will be yours.

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